Día de los Santos Inocentes -- Day of the Holy Innocents

Yesterday was Dia de los Santoas Inocentes in Colombia. I thought I would share some information I found about this day:
The 28th of December is the Día de los Santos Inocentes in Colombia. It is based on a Catholic holiday that commemorates the children, younger than 2 years of age, that were ordered killed by King Herod after the Three Wise Men did not return to tell Herod where the child king could be found.

This holiday is celebrated much in the way we here in the US celebrate April Fool's Day. It is a day for playing tricks on people, fake news reports, and jokes. On this day the Colombian newspaper, El Tiempo, publishes a sepcial insert called El Trompo which is filled with funny and fictious stories about current events.

I found the info on this new blog on one of the Yahoo groups:
http://raisingcolombiankids.blogspot.com/
It has some really good info especially about traditions, etc.

You'll notice the latest post contains directions on making Tamales which is a holiday tradition in Colombia. When Tom was going up he knew a Mexican family that made tamales every Christmas. He said it was quite a production. We stopped into a new Mexican store in town last week and asked if they were making tamales. The owner told us she wasn't making any but knew a lady who made some. So we received the call Saturday night to pick up our tamales. I think we have a new family tradition! Maybe next year we'll have to try making our own (seems like a daunting task!).

Carrie

Some Progress

We filed our I800A on December 4th. I had a few moments of panic when I logged onto USPS and it said that the documents were refused. It must have been a mistake because a day later there was a post that indicated someone signed for the papers. I just hated the thought of yet another delay! A week later we received notification for our appointment for the biometrics (whatever that may be). My understanding is it is just another set of fingerprints - this time for the USCIS (customs & immigration). We have to go to Columbus on Dec. 30 to have this done. We received this notice much faster than I was anticipating. We were being told the I800A approval was taking 90 days. So I was prepared to wait. But what I'm learning now is that the I800A moves quickly - but the I800 (which comes after) is the one taking so long. So are you now as confused as I???

The good news is that the agency told us we could start our dossier. Which makes me feel like we have progress!! Part of the dossier is a psychological evaluation so I've been searching for a psychologist who has experience in doing these for international adoption. After 4 negative responses we found a guy who said he does them. Unfortunately after one meeting we felt he wasn't the right fit so we have to keep searching. Last resort is an online psychologist - which should be interesting. It's hard to find someone who does international in this area.

We also have to have our fingers printed for the FBI (you would think the agencies would talk to each other!). These are done at our local police station then sent to the FBI. I called the police station who told us that we had to bring the cards to be printed on. I asked 'where do we get these cards' and they said from whoever wants the prints. Now is this crazy or what. We're supposed to call up the FBI - who have no idea we want prints - and get the cards to be finger printed on! Seems crazy to me. So I thought - well, let's try the Sherrif's department - after all - they fingerprinted us last spring for child abuse clearance before Johan arrived. They tell me that they no longer do paper prints - only electronic and that no one in the state of Ohio does paper prints any more (guess they don't talk to the Police much). They even told me that one of the people that works there recently adopted a child and they used electronic. Well, that may be - but our instructions are to have live prints on a card sent to the FBI. So now the wheels are turning - how the heck do we get this done. Then it hit me that we have a few friends on the police department. One of the guys (Duane) is the meter guy (favorite guy in town - giving out all those parking tickets). The other guy (Tom) is a police officer. We all happened to be gathered the other night for a Euchre party - so we hit them up for some help. And sure enough they said they could get it done for us - cards and all. We are going to hang out at the police station and get finger printed on Christmas Day (our officer friend happens to be on patrol that day). We may have him throw in a few mug shots too - just for fun (I'll get Tom to wear his santa hat).

This is the card we sent Johan today:
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/pAHP1zU6CY16dNxo
Just copy and paste into a web browser and it should come up. The person you probably don't recognize (other than the elf) is Martha - Johan's social worker that was the chaperone for the kids this summer.

Merry Christmas,
Carrie

Home Study - DONE!

I think I reported to you on November 6th that I thought we would have the Home Study done that day. Well after several delays we finally received it yesterday, December 3! After our social worker told us it was almost done, the agency said 'halt' - we need more info. They also made us go back and get the child abuse clearance from CA for Tom - even though CA told us 2 months ago they stopped doing them. For some reason they now do them.
Regardless - the home study is done!! I just got back from sending the I800A. I'm told the approval for the I800A will take about 3 months. It sure didn't seem like 3 months worth of reading! I called to see if it could be expedited but they said no chance. So back to waiting...
I tried to start some of the process for the dossier - but the agency told me to wait since the documents have to be less than 4 or 6 months old. Very discouraging...
The good news is that we received an email from Johan today. I sent him a few pictures of us from Thanksgiving. He sent a few of Colombia back to us and said he is doing well in school.
We had dinner a few weeks ago with one of the fellow Kidsave host parents as well as our new friends from Oakwood who will be adopting the kids these people hosted. It was nice being able to share our experiences with each other and commiserate over the lengthy process.
That's about all the news for now.
Carrie

Back to Molasses

Well we didn't get the final version of the home study on Nov 7 as I hoped. The adoption agency had some changes to make and our social worker went on vacation last week. So we're still waiting. She said she was working on it this afternoon - so maybe in the next few days...

We received another email from Johan last week. This one had a drawing on it that he did on the computer. That definitely lifted my spirits. I plan to write him back today or tomorrow. It takes some time to translate the message on the web. I do it back and forth a few times to make sure what I'm trying to say comes out right. You'd be amazed at the words we use that don't translate correctly!

That's about all the news for this week - nothing too exciting.

Carrie

Progress and Hope

It's been quite a week. Last Friday the social worker came to our house to do the safety audit - which basically consists of her walking around and making sure we have smoke detectors and a plan for escaping the house. I imagine the safety audit would be much more involved if we were adopting an infant.

I was feeling a bit impatient so I pushed a little on when the home study would be complete. She told us that all documents were back so we just had to wait on her to finish writing everything. So we leaned a little harder to get things done. And guess what! We should have the final notarized copy of the home study tomorrow!!

What this means is that we can file the I800A with the government - the application to determine suitability to adopt a child from a convention country. The convention is the Hague Convention which is an agreement on how adoptions are handled between Convention Countries. This was enacted fairly recently.

The bad news is that I've been reading on the Yahoo Groups that it has been taking over 100 days for the Gov't to approve I800A's. They say that if you are adopting a waiting child that it sometimes goes faster. I figured I'll send a big life-sized picture of Johan with the application. That should do it. If not, I've already dug up the phone numbers of our Senator who I plan to call if things move like molasses.

Speaking of the Yahoo Groups - I've found some good communities on there. One is called Adopt Colombia - for people who have adopted previously or are in the process. It's a good place to get questions answered. As I said before I was getting impatient last week. Our adoption agency wouldn't give us our next list of items 'to do'. I'm not sure exactly why. I know there is still a mound of paperwork we have to collect for our dossier - so why not start collecting?? Anyway, I posted my frustration on the Yahoo Group and they all told me to remember the agency may be the experts but we're the customers and there is no reason we shouldn't be pushing and advocating for our child. Especially when he is waiting!

So I'm pushing! And collecting documents and getting things apostilled and organized. Hopefully it doesn't come back to bite me where I have to do things over again - but at least I feel like we're making progress.

The other good news of the week is that we received a short note from Johan yesterday. He sent it via email from Martha - his social worker - that traveled with the Kidsave kids this summer and stayed with us for 10 days. It was great hearing from him! He said he received the birthday package we sent him and that he's doing well at school. He had the privilege of raising the flag at school due to his good grades and good behavior.

A week of good progress which gives me some hope. Speaking of hope - I found this quote that I liked and thought I would share:
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all
-Emily Dickinson

Have a great day,
Carrie

DIA DE LOS MUERTOS (Day of the Dead)

I know Tia Lee Anna knows about Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), but I thought I would share with all...

Day of the Dead is a family event to remember ancestors, whose spirits visit the earth once a year. This concept of the cycle or circle of life is a strong tradition with many native and indigenous peoples worldwide, says Heard Museum Educational Services Manager Gina Laczko said. El Día de Los Muertos is not scary. It's reflective, but not sad.

This cyclic view fused with Catholicism's All Souls Day on Nov. 2 and All Saints Day on Nov. 1 to become Day (or Days) of the Dead, Laczko explained. In a society without written family trees, celebrants tell stories to their children, "and it's not just the landmark things about your parents or great-grandparents," she added. "You remember a lot of anecdotal things, such as what was her favorite food, or that time he got me with that good practical joke."

Although many Americans see the prototypical dancing skeletons and celebration of death as macabre or related to Halloween, it's not, Laczko and others emphasize. As harvest festivals both fall at the same time of the year, but El Día de Los Muertos is not scary. It's reflective, but not sad.

What relates it to Halloween in many minds are images of cavorting skeletons. Laczko notes that these are a direct result of the work of Mexican press artist Jose Guadalupe Posada, who died in 1913. Posada inspired muralist Diego Rivera and others with his caricatures of the rich and political, all depicted as skeletons. Katarina, a skeletal figure in a plumed hat and dress, has become the instant visual signal of El Día de Los Muertos.

Katarina and company are in evidence all over Mexico as altars are set up Oct. 30 and 31. In homes, tables are covered with flowers, fruits, vegetables, candles, incense, statues of saints, photos of the deceased. The sky is represented by a sheet or strings of paper cutouts.

Traditionally, the flowers used are marigolds, and the incense used on the altar is copal, the resin from a particular tree. Like moles and chile-laced dishes prepared for some of the ancestors, the flowers are quite aromatic and the copal has a distinctive smell.

So what foods are made? "You would want to provide for (the spirits) the very best things they loved in life, the things made with the most love and the most care," Linda McAllister said. "You would make their favorite dish.

It is believed that the souls of children, los angelitos, return first on Oct. 30 and 31. Toys, not-so-spicy foods and candies would be provided on la ofrenda, or separate miniature altars might be made for them with small cups, saucers, and even miniature pan de muerto.

Families clean and repaint the graves in cemeteries, which are sometimes in churchyards, sometimes in the countryside. Musicians are often hired to play the favorite songs of the departed.

Women spend days working armloads of flowers into breathtakingly elaborate installations, she said. She was afraid she might offend people by taking photographs, so she asked a family for permission, and they were quite flattered. The family at the next gravesite said, "Don't you think ours are beautiful?"
"So there's tremendous pride," Laczko said. "Americans have no idea of how overwhelmingly beautiful this is. And to do all this work, it really is an honoring of that person."

So we'll have to learn from Johan his experiences of Dia de los Muertos while introducing him to our version of All Saints Day as well as Halloween.
-Carrie

The Home Study

Since August our focus has been on completing our home study. This is the first step in the process and requires all types of paperwork such as birth certificates, marriage certificates, autobiographies (yes, we had to write about ourselves and all of our family members!), letters of references from friends and work, etc. (I have to say you get a mighty big head when you read what people write about you in a letter of reference.) It also requires a fire and safety inspection of the home and meetings with the social worker to ensure we're not off our rockers. (Contrary to popular belief).

Right now we're waiting on Tom's fingerprint clearance to come back and for the social worker to finish doing our study. Once all of the ducks are in the row about 80 different people review the home study to ensure it meets Ohio's requirements as well as the Fed and the Colombian Gov't. Okay - not quite 80 - but it sure seems like it.

The fun news is we received a letter from Johan last week! It was a thank you note that we're guessing he did when he first got back to Colombia while he was still with the Kidsave group. It was a nice surprise.

Johan turned 11 in September. We were able to send him a small package to let him know we were thinking about him. We were advised not to send anything too large since items often go missing in customs - so we kept it to one of those musical cards and some stickers.

We're pretty sure he doesn't know about the adoption yet. I imagine they won't tell him until the time gets closer - just in case something would happen. We do know that he still wants to find a forever family and he had a great time when he was with us this summer.

Another bit of exciting news is that a couple in Dayton - about 20 minutes from here - have decided to adopt Diana & Mauricio - two other Kidsave children that were hosted in the Columbus area this summer. It's been nice sharing the experience of the adoption process with someone else who is going through it at the same time and it will be great for the kids when we get them all home.

One of my biggest worries is how to best help Johan fit into American life but also help him to retain his Colombian heritage. Having other Colombian children nearby will help.

Speaking of which I attended a seminar on Diversity in Adoption last week. It was a panel of 4 couples who had adopted children of another race, multiracial or special needs children. It was interesting listening to everyone's stories and about how they handle different situations that arise due to their interracial family. The subjects that came up are many that I have wondered about - or have been pushed to think about from the Social Worker and adoption agency. It was great to hear the positive outcomes and reinforced the idea that while everyone's situation is different there are many parallels - and the challenges are just hurdles to overcome - definitely not insurmountable.

Carrie